


The Sibling Around the Corner

by SRassier



Series: Five and Dolores sitting in a tree... [3]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: F/M, Idiots in Love, Love Letters, Mistaken Identity (sort of), Number Five: Matchmaker, Pen Pals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:21:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23518357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SRassier/pseuds/SRassier
Summary: Diego and Melissa find that they are both falling for their unseen pen pals. The catch? They ARE each other's unseen pen pals. Can Delores and (a reluctant) Five help them fall in love?AKA: The Umbrella Academy sitcom episode you didn't know you needed.
Relationships: Diego Hargreeves/Original Female Character(s), Dolores/Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy)
Series: Five and Dolores sitting in a tree... [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1610194
Kudos: 34





	The Sibling Around the Corner

**Author's Note:**

> SO, this is a story based in my “Five and Delores Sitting in a Tree” Universe. It sort of works as a stand-alone, as these stories are basically fluffy goodness and plots don’t really intertwine.
> 
> I would appreciate if you read the first two stories as I am really proud of them but in case you don’t want to and just want to get right to a gooey, fluffy Diego, then I’ll fill you in on what you need to know…
> 
> Delores and her sister, Melissa were born on October 1, 1989. They are identical twins. They were not collected by Reginald Hargreeves. Delores’ power is that she can project her consciousness into other people or objects. She spent the entire apocalypse with Five in the mannequin. Melissa has healing powers. 
> 
> Delores, Melissa and the Hargreeves are physically 30 and Five is physically 19 (if you read “Delores’ Story” this would make more sense!)
> 
> Now, they all live in the mansion and I will just be writing fun little family/lovey stuff when I don’t want to write anything too heavy.
> 
> ALSO: Title is a play on The Shop Around the Corner...an excellent movie if you get a chance to see it.

Diego was hovering. He knew he was, and he knew it was pathetic, but he didn’t know where else to turn. Vanya and he had never had the healthiest of relationships, Allison would tease him mercilessly, and Melissa had spoken exactly 10 words to him since they met 6 months ago, so this was where he ended up…hovering outside Five and Delores’ door. 

The two had moved to one of the guest bedrooms since the twin beds in their childhood rooms didn’t have enough space to ‘maneuver’ as Five so elegantly put it a few months ago. The rest of the family had erupted in sounds of disgust and Klaus pretending to vomit, but Delores just shook her head and smiled. They were quite a pair.

After what must have been his 20th pass in front of the cracked open door, he heard Five growl from inside, “Will you come in already? Your pacing is annoying the shit out of me.”  
Diego stopped in his tracks and gently opened the door farther to poke his head in. “Hey.”  
Five didn’t look up from what Diego thought was the biggest textbook he had ever seen and a notebook that he was scribbling furiously in. Delores did take the time to look up from her book and smile at him. “Hey Diego, what can we do for you?” Five just grunted.  
“I was wondering, um…I need some help with…I have this problem…”  
“Out with it!” Five snapped  
“I want your help getting a girl.” Diego grimaced at how pathetic it sounded when it left his mouth.   
Five finally stopped writing and looked at his brother. “You want my help with what now?”  
“Not you.” Diego turned his head to Delores. “You.”

“Diego,” Delores stood up to face him. “You’re a nice, good looking guy.” She ignored Five’s chuckle. “Why would you need my help getting a girl?”  
“We met through this, thing. Sort of a pen pal situation. We started off just chatting, but I really think I like her and now that I want to get romantic. I…don’t know how.”  
“Wait, you haven’t met her?”  
Diego shook his head. “No, just letters. That’s what I need you for. Can you write me a letter that a woman would find romantic?”  
Five’s chuckles started to turn to all out laughter and Delores could see Diego’s face fall. She turned to her boyfriend and in a curt voice said, “Don’t you dare laugh at someone trying to be romantic. The only reason you have a woman is that you were literally the last man of Earth.” Five immediately stopped laughing and scowled before turning back to his book.  
She looked back at Diego and smiled. “I’d be happy to help you.” He matched her smile and the two of them left Five to his work.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One week later, Delores and Five were enjoying coffee in the kitchen and Melissa barged in with a huge dopy grin on her face. “What are you so happy about?” Delores asked her grinning sister.   
“I think I’m in love.”  
Delores nearly choked on her coffee and Five had to pat her on the back. She couldn’t speak so Five did it for her. “With whom?”  
“I don’t know his name.” She crossed the room and flopped down in a chair at the table, sighing. “We met through a pen pal service. No names or photos until you meet, that way you really get to know the person.” Delores and Five shared a look of panic, as she continued. “We started off just being friends, right? Then, today, I got the most amazing letter from him.”  
Delores cautiously asked, “Can I see it?”  
“Of course.” 

She pulled out an envelope from her pocket and Five tensed at the sight of it…it was definitely one out of his desk drawer. Delores took it from her and pulled the letter out and began to read. Melissa was so caught up in telling Five what a wonderful guy the letter man was that she didn’t notice the little noises Delores made while staring at the letter. “He seems really nice.”  
Melissa snatched the letter back and giggled. “He’s perfect. He knows just what to say to a woman.”  
Five huffed, “I bet he does.” Delores poked him in the side.  
“Which is why I need your help.” Delores and Five looked at each other and back at Melissa who was staring at Five, her eyes full of hope.  
“What do you need me for?”  
“You’re a guy. You can help me write a letter that he will really respond to.”  
“Um…”  
“Please Five, you’re the only one I can ask. You know how hard it is for me to get out there and make friends, heck…you and Dee are the only real friends I have here at the mansion, everyone else is still kind of foreign to me. Please?”  
Five stared at her puppy dog eyes and caved. “Sure, I’ll help you.”

Melissa got up and ran to his side. She leaned down and kissed his cheek. “Thanks! We can work on it after dinner.”   
She ran out of the room and Five slowly turned to Delores who was waiting for his eyes. “What the hell did you just do?”  
“I don’t know, she looked so desperate! I panicked!” Delores leaned back in her chair, Five doing the same. They both let out huge sighs and said in unison, “Shit.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nearly an hour later, Five found himself in the library with Melissa. She had pen and paper and was anxiously awaiting his guidance to write the perfect love letter…to Diego. Not only did Five not know how to write a love letter, he certainly didn’t care to learn how to write one to his own brother.

“Uh, I guess we should start with what guys like.” He sputtered as she obliviously hung on to every word. “Guys…well at least this guy,” he awkwardly chuckled as he pointed at himself. “Likes to be told that he’s right.” Melissa smiled as he continued. “So, maybe start out by telling him how good his letter was.” She started scribbling on the paper as he tried to come up with something more of value. “Also, tell him what you like to do, you know, on a date. Speaking for myself, if Delores doesn’t expressly tell me to do something, it may never get done. It’s not like I don’t love her, I’m just…” He drifted off as he started to realize how very unromantic he actually was. 

Melissa sensed his hesitation, “Five?” He shook his head out of his thoughts and looked at her. “Delores loves you, you know that right?” He nodded. “She knows that romance isn’t your forte. This is the reason I asked for your help here.”  
“How’s that?”  
“Letter Man. He’s…I think someone helped him write this last letter.” Five swallowed hard. “His first letters were very nice. He seems like a real great guy, but he’s not exactly the type to be writing poetry if you know what I mean. The last letter was so beautiful, it didn’t seem to be his doing…not entirely. I don’t mind that he got help, obviously.” She smiled sheepishly at her own situation. “That’s why I asked you. I don’t want to overwhelm him by acting like I want some romance book Romeo. I just want to tell him how I feel and see where things go from there.”

Five listened to her as she poured her heart out to him. How anyone could fall in love with someone through just letters was beyond him. Of course, he did fall for Delores’ mind. Not even knowing what she looked like for nearly 45 years. He sighed and stood up from the table. As he looked down into her confused eyes he smiled. “So, do that. Tell him how you feel and see where things go from there. You don’t need me Melissa, because I’ll be honest with you…if you write what you feel and just be yourself…any guy who doesn’t fall for that is an idiot who doesn’t deserve you.” He placed his hand on her shoulder and gave a squeeze as he walked by, leaving her alone to write her letter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Diego burst through the heavy oak doors of the mansion and bolted up the stairs, taking them two at a time. He made a bee line for their room and nearly tripped when he skidded to a stop in front of the door. He grasped the handle and tried to turn it. Locked. He reached up and rapped on the door impatiently. “BUSY!” He heard Five from behind the locked door. He simply knocked again. “Is Delores in there? I need to talk to her!”   
“What part of busy do you not understand?” Diego could hear the annoyance in Five’s voice, but he chose to ignore it. If everyone changed directions whenever they annoyed Five, they would all get very dizzy, very fast.   
“Five minutes! I just need Delores for five minutes.” 

He could hear hushed voices from inside the room. He strained to listen and could make out a few phrases like, ‘he seems serious,’ ‘he’s an idiot,’ ‘he just needs five minutes,’ ‘I need more than that,’ Then Delores giggling, some movement and Five groaning in frustration as he heard someone walk toward the door. The lock was disengaged, and Delores swung the door open, allowing Diego to see inside. 

She was standing in front of him, buttoning up one of Five’s dress shirts around what looked like her otherwise naked frame. Behind her, Five was lying on the bed, the covers strewn all around but pulled over his bottom half as he stared daggers at Diego. He took in the scene and muttered, “Oh…uh sorry.”  
Five rolled his eyes and threw his head back on the pillow. Delores gave Diego the most genuine smile she could muster and asked, “What can I do for you?”   
He turned to her and remembered what he ran up here to tell her. “She wants to meet.”  
“She does?” Delores shot a look back at Five and he threw his arm up over his eyes and muttered, “Shit.”  
“What? Is that bad? You think she’ll hate me?”  
“Oh no!” She placed a hand on his shoulder. “I didn’t mean that. It’s just…are you ready to meet her?”  
“I want to, but…” He stared at the ground, trying to find the courage to say what he was feeling. He was never good with feelings.   
Five felt the need to hurry things along. “What? You afraid she’s not going to be into a vigilante man-child with daddy issues who wears knives to bed?”  
Delores shot Five a look and ushered Diego out into the hallway, shutting the door behind her. The sound of something hitting the door on the other side made her shake her head. “Man-child indeed.”

“What is it?”  
Diego looked up at her and sighed. “I’m just worried that she’s some kind of classy lady and I’m…well…a vigilante man-child with daddy issues.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest. “I don’t wear knives to bed.”  
Delores put her hands on his shoulders and looked him in the eyes. “You are a kind, funny, handsome man. Any woman would be lucky to have you. You go ahead and set up a date and if she doesn’t like you…I will personally tell her what the hell is wrong with her.”

“That’s a great idea!” Diego smiled for the first time since the beginning of their talk.  
“What is?”  
“We could double date. I’ll tell her that my brother and his girlfriend have tickets to…something or other and ask if she like to join.” Delores started to shake her head slowly, but he just ignored it. “That way, if it goes sideways, I’ve got you two to help me out!”  
They suddenly heard Five from inside the room, “No way in hell!”  
Delores pursed her lips and sent a side glance toward the door. “I swear, that man never wants to get laid again.” She looked back at Diego and beamed, speaking louder than necessary she replied, “We’d love to!”  
“DAMNIT!” Was the response from inside their bedroom but Diego didn’t hear it, he was too busy kissing Delores on the cheek and running back downstairs to figure out what he was going to get tickets to.

“This is a bad idea.” Five said as she walked back into the room.   
“I know, but they both seem so…I don’t know…”  
“Hopeless?”  
“Yeah.” She walked over and sat down on the bed next to him, leaning over and putting her head on his chest. “I really hope they aren’t pissed when they find out we knew and didn’t tell them.”  
“Well, we just have to hope that they hit it off to the point where we can escape, and they won’t remember to be mad at us.” He reached up and absently mindedly started stroking her hair. “Now, what was that about me not getting laid ever again?” She looked up at him, crooking one eyebrow as he smirked, “you know that would punish you as much as it would me.”  
“Oh please, I could go a lot longer than you.”  
He leaned down and kissed her, pulling back for a short moment to grin. “Well thank God we don’t have to find out, huh?”  
“Yeah.” She reached up and grabbed his neck pulling him toward her. “Now where were we before being so rudely interrupted?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One week later, Melissa came through the front door with her new letter in hand. She rushed up the stairs and headed toward Five’s room to tell him the news. As she turned a corner, she ran smack into Diego as he exited one of the mansions many bathrooms. He grabbed her arm, keeping her from falling and she shyly whispered, “thanks.”  
“You ok? You’re not really the type to run around the house like that.”  
She finally looked at him and turned beet red as she realized he was standing there in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. She quickly took in the sight of him as she raised her eyes to meet his. He really was a good-looking guy. “I...I’m looking for Five.”

Diego took in a quick breath when she finally made eye contact. He found himself looking at the greenest eyes he had ever seen. He knew that she had them…he had looked at Delores’ eyes plenty of times, but this was the first time that Melissa had made eye contact with him. She really was quite pretty, for a mousy little thing. “I think I saw them going in their room on my way to the shower. But if the door’s closed, they may be…busy.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Uh,” Suddenly the normally confident Diego wasn’t quite sure what to say. “Last time I tried to barge in there, I…um…interrupted something.” She had a confused look on her face. “You know, something…personal.”  
“Oh!” Melissa’s face turned an even darker shade of red as she understood his meaning. “I see.” She looked down at her feet before suddenly turning and rushing down the hall toward the room in question. “Thanks,” she called back behind her. “I’ll be careful!”  
Diego let out a breath and shook his head. He made his way back to his room, trying to ignore the sudden feelings that were bubbling up inside of him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Five was sitting at his desk, reading a book on quantum mechanics, when there was faint knock at the door. “Come in.”  
The door creaked open and Five looked up to find Melissa poking her head in. “Five?”  
He closed the book and turned his body to face her. “What’s up?”  
“I got another letter.”  
Five tried his best to pretend he didn’t know what was in it. “And…?”  
“He wants to meet. Go out on a date. A double date to be exact.”  
“A double date?” He hated lying to her. She was easily the nicest among them. “With whom?”  
“His brother and his brother’s girlfriend.” She sat down on the bed. “Maybe he is bringing them to judge me. What if they don’t like me?”  
“Not possible.” Five always talked to her so matter-of-factly. She liked that he didn’t coddle her because she was shy. “You are a joy to be around, and that’s coming from me, who likes exactly one person on this earth besides himself.” He winked, causing her to smile.   
“I wish you could come with us.” 

Five suddenly saw a solution to his and Delores’ problems. “Why don’t we?”  
“What?”  
“Write him back. Say you made reservations at some restaurant, and his idea of bringing family was so good, you’re bringing your sister and her boyfriend.”   
“That’s brilliant!”   
“Well, I am a genius.”   
Melissa ran over and gave him a peck on the cheek and rushed out of the room, nearly running into Delores as she did. “Your boyfriend is the best!”  
Delores walked into the room and looked down her nose at Five. “What did you do?”  
“I invited us on their double date.”  
Delores tilted her head to one side. “Um. Correct me if I’m wrong, but…weren’t we already invited on that double date? Hence, the term ‘double date’”  
“Yes, but now, both of them think there will be someone in their corner, putting them at ease, making it much easier to ditch them with each other as soon as we get the opportunity.”  
Delores couldn’t tell if he was an evil genius or an unromantic bastard. She decided on both, but also realized that she really didn’t want to accompany her sister on what was going to be a disastrous date with Diego…a man who was her complete and total opposite. She sighed as she flopped down on the bed. “Ok, what’s the plan?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Diego was rushing down the hall toward his room, his arms full of bags when Melissa stepped out of the bathroom and nearly collided with him for the second time in as many weeks. He sidestepped her and in doing so, dropped the bags, some of them spilling out onto the floor. 

“Shit!” He crouched down and started gathering up the clothes and Melissa knelt down to help.   
“We have got to stop meeting like this,” Melissa joked as she scooped up a purple tie. She smiled and looked at him. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a tie.”  
“Yeah, uh…I’ve got…” He looked up from what he was doing but didn’t quiet make it to her eyes. His gaze lingered for a bit on the top of her robe which was open just far enough to catch a glimpse of cleavage and Diego shook his head before looking in her eyes. If she noticed, she pretended not to. “I have a date.”  
She handed him the tie and they both stood. “That’s exciting.”  
“Yeah, you’d think so.”  
“You’re not excited?”  
“No. I am! It’s just…it’s a first date and you know how those go…”  
“Yeah.” She looked to her bare feet and shuffled a bit. “I actually don’t.”  
“What?” Diego lowered his head to look under her bangs at her eyes. “I don’t believe that.” She looked at him and found him smiling but not teasing. “A good-looking girl like you? You must have guys beating down your door for dates!”  
“Well, my Dad didn’t exactly let me…” she didn’t finish her thought, but Diego got the message.  
“Yeah. This house is full of members of the ‘my Dad fucked me up’ club.” He noticed a small smile at that and couldn’t help but return it. “It’ll happen. Don’t worry.”  
“Oh, I’m not worried! I have a date too, thank you very much!” She pursed her lips and raised her head to look down her nose at him before laughing at the gesture. Diego couldn’t help but think that she looked so damn cute at that very moment. “So, you don’t have to worry about me at all.”

Suddenly Diego noticed that the two of them were still holding on to the tie. How could they stand there for several minutes, basically holding hands and neither of them noticed? “Well, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get ready for my date.” He looked down at the garment. “I’m gonna need that.”  
Melissa followed his gaze and quickly let go of the tie. “Sorry.”   
“It’s alright.” He started back down the hall to his room, calling back over his shoulder, “Have fun on your date!”  
“You too!” She called back, but they both found themselves wishing that the other didn’t have too good of a time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Diego tossed his bags in his room and made a bee line for Five and Delores’. The door was open a crack so he didn’t bother to knock. He pushed his way in, walked over to the empty bed and fell on it, face first. “Come on in.” Five deadpanned.   
“I’m screwed,” was Diego’s muffled response.  
“What did you do now?”  
Diego turned his head to look at his brother. “I think I’m falling for someone.”  
Five sighed and turned to his brother. “Isn’t that the whole point of all of this? To fall for this girl?”  
“No. Not her.” He sat up and looked at Five. He heaved a heavy sigh and spit it out. “Melissa.”

Five sat silently for a moment, just staring at Diego, trying to decide if his brother had found out everything and was messing with him. Diego’s eyes told a different story so when Five realized his brother was serious…he did what any good brother would do. He burst out laughing.  
“What the hell man?” Diego stood up and stared daggers at Five. “This shit isn’t funny!”   
“Sorry, sorry.” Five tried to compose himself and between a few last chuckles as his laughter died down, he asked, “Does Melissa feel the same?”  
Diego cautiously sat back down, watching his brother for any more signs that he wasn’t taking this conversation seriously. “I don’t know. I mean, in the hallway just now, we were sort of flirting but it’s hard to tell with her, you know? She’s not exactly the talkative type.”  
“Unlike you, Mr. Loquacious.”  
“Huh?”  
“Never mind. Ok, let’s say there’s something there? What about this other girl?”  
Diego fell backwards onto the bed and threw his arm across his eyes. “I don’t know man.”

For the first time in his life, Five saw something in Diego other than anger or competition. He saw a real struggle to not hurt one of these (what Diego thought was) two women. He felt something for his brother that he didn’t think possible…compassion. “Crap.”  
“What?” Diego peeked at him from behind his arm.  
“Can you get a hold of this girl? Or is it only letters?”  
“No. We exchanged numbers…for texting only.”  
Five’s mind was going a mile a minute. He was going to fix this. “Text her. Say you are incredibly sorry, but your brother got a bug from work and spread it to everyone, and you’ll have to reschedule.”  
“Isn’t that just postponing the inevitable?”  
“Nope, it’s just step one of my plan.” Five stood up and offered his hand to Diego. He took it and Five helped him to his feet. “Go get cleaned up and dressed for your date. Meet me downstairs in an hour.”  
“Wait? I thought I was rescheduling?”  
“You are with her…you and I are going out.”  
“Gee Five, I didn’t know you felt that way.”  
“Diego, you want me to fix this?” Diego nodded. “Then shut up and do as I say.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Five jumped to outside Melissa’s door. He took a deep breath and knocked. “Come in.” When he entered, he felt his heart drop a bit. Melissa sat at the vanity as Delores was putting her hair up and the two of them looked stunning.   
“Damn.”  
“Thank you.” Delores winked at him as he walked up to the twins. “Delores, can I speak to you for a moment?”   
She saw the seriousness in his face and looked down to Melissa. “I’ll be right back honey.”  
The couple stepped out into the hall just as Melissa’s phone alerted her to a text.

“Ok I don’t have time to explain it all so you’re just going to have to trust me.”  
“Alright.”  
“Melissa is getting a text from Diego right now canceling their date.”  
“What?” Delores’ face turned from curious to angry as she started to turn around back into the room.  
“No time!” He grabbed her shoulders and turned her back to him. “I need you to go in there and get her to go out with you as an alternative. Say something about you both looking so good…because you do look good by the way, and not wanting to waste it.”  
“Ok but what the hell is going on?”  
“I can’t explain it all right now, I have to go get ready. Just take Melissa to the restaurant we have reservations at and when you sit down, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom or whatever and wait for me out front. Got it?”  
Delores couldn’t be more confused if she tried, but the man in front of her figured out time travel, survived 45 years as the last man on Earth, and stopped the goddamned apocalypse…she could trust him in a little match making scheme. “Got it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The cab ride to the restaurant was spent in relative silence. It wasn’t until the were nearly at their destination did Diego finally speak. “We don’t have to do this you know; we could just go to a bar or something.”  
“Are you kidding? Do you know how hard it is to get reservations to this place?” Five shook his head. “Nope, we are going to eat a fancy dinner and talk. We haven’t really talked since I got back…just you and me.”  
“I mean, I appreciate the sentiment bro but…” Diego gestured to himself and then to Five, refereeing to the very nice suits they were both wearing. “It’s gonna look like we’re on a date.”  
“You care too much about what other people think. Besides.” He looked to his brother. “You could do worse.”  
“You’ve been hanging out with Klaus too much.”  
“I think hanging out with Klaus at all is hanging out with Klaus too much.”

Before Diego could respond, the cab slowed to a stop in front of the restaurant. He nudged Five with his elbow and pointed to the entrance to the building. “Is that Delores?”  
Five smiled that smile that Diego noticed was reserved for the woman in question. “Yes, it is.”  
The two men got out of the cab and Five made a bee line for Delores, scooping her up into a hug and planting a kiss on her lips, causing her to push back. “Five, my makeup!”   
“You’d look good in nothing at all. Speaking of…” He gave her a sly look before stepping back. “You wait here for a minute and I’ll see what I can do about getting you that way a little later.” She shook her head, but he saw the smirk that told him he was going to get his way. He turned to Diego and grabbed the larger man’s elbow, escorting him into the restaurant.

The two men stopped at the maître d’s stand and Five spoke, “Hargreeves.” The man at the podium stepped around and gestured for them to follow. He walked them back to a table in the far corner of the restaurant and Diego stopped in his tracks when he saw who was sitting at the table waiting for them. “Melissa.”  
She looked up from the menu and he noticed the little sharp intake of breath when she saw them. “Diego…hi.”

Five sighed at their hopelessness and shoved Diego into the chair opposite Melissa. He took one of the menus from the maître d and handed it to Diego. “Here’s the deal. You two have been writing each other through that pen pal service. Delores and I didn’t know how to tell you so it sort of snowballed. When Diego came into my room earlier today and said he may have feelings for Melissa but didn’t want to hurt Melissa, I figured…this needed to be stopped before I got an aneurysm.” During his whole speech, Melissa and Diego simply sat and stared at each other. “So.” They finally looked up at him. “Melissa, Diego likes you, Diego, Melissa likes you…enjoy your dinner…mazel tov!” He turned and strolled out of the restaurant, leaving the pair alone to figure out what just happened.

Five walked out to the street and put his arm around Delores. “Done.”  
“What is done? What did you do?”  
He guided her toward the cab stand and smiled as he opened one of the doors for her. “I fixed the Diego/Melissa situation. You’re welcome.” She opened her mouth to argue but he closed the taxi door and walked to the other side. As he slid in beside her, he addressed the driver. “Griddy’s donuts.” The driver pulled away from the curb and Five turned to Delores, expecting joy, but getting annoyance. “What?”  
“First of all, did you just ditch our siblings and hope it all works out? Second, Griddys? I thought you wanted to get me naked.”  
Five smirked. “First of all, I laid it all out for them, taking us out of the equation. All problems are easier with less variables.” He sat back in the seat of the cab and took her hand in his. “Second, seeing you in that dress, I know I’m going to need some coffee before we get home.” He threw her a wink and she smiled. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Delores woke with a start. She tried to sit up but was held in place by Five’s arm and she looked up at him from her place on his chest. “Shhh.” He whispered, clearly already wide awake. “Do you hear that?”  
She focused on the sound outside the bedroom and finally answered. “Is that…giggling?”  
“Yeah,” Five answered. “And if I didn’t know any better, I’d say its…Deigo?”  
“That’s what I thought.” She sat up and he followed her lead. They climbed out of bed and snuck over to the door. Delores held her breath as she opened the door just enough for the two of them to peek outside. 

Diego and Melissa were stumbling down the hall, taking turns holding each other up when the other tripped. Five grinned and whispered to Delores, “they’re drunk off their asses.”  
As if to drive home the point, Melissa finally tripped the entire way to the ground, landing on her backside with a thud. Diego started laughing louder at that and Melissa’s giggle got even louder. He held his hand out for her and as she took it, he hoisted her up and pulled a little too hard. She practically flew up and crashed into his chest, causing the two in the hall as well as Delores to snicker. “Shh.” Five threw his hand over her mouth so they could keep watching. 

Melissa and Diego stopped at the sudden contact. He looked down at her and she up at him. They stood for a moment before Melissa finally spoke in nearly a whisper. “I had a really good time tonight.” She rolled her eyes. “That was really cliché wasn’t it?”  
“It’s ok. Sometimes cliché is good.” He reached up to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. “Like for example, ‘I had a good time too,’ and ‘we should do it again sometime.’”  
She blushed and stepped back from him, reaching behind her to grasp her door handle. “Yeah, we should.” She turned the handle and slowly made her way backward into her room as Diego simply watched, smiling. She walked backward far enough to close the door and as she did, she wiggled her fingers in a wave at Diego and giggled as the door shut.

Diego let out a sigh and turned back down the hall. Five and Delores sat as still as they could, knowing that if they made to shut their door, he would surely see the movement. Diego took a few steps down the hall, and the door behind him opened. He turned to find Melissa rushing up to him and planting a kiss right on his lips. She broke the kiss before he had time to react and she waltzed right back into her room, leaving him alone in the hall once again. Turning around, Five and Delores saw that he had a dopey grin plastered across his face and when he turned the corner toward the wing that housed his room, they finally retreated into their room.

“Well…?” Five raised his eyebrows at her.  
“Alright, I’ll admit…it wasn’t a terrible plan.”  
“It was brilliant. I’m a genius after all.”  
“You pulled that plan out of your ass when Diego came to you this afternoon.”  
“Maybe, but it worked, and now I can go back to not giving a shit about my brother’s love life.” He plopped down on the bed and patted the spot next to him. “Mission accomplished.”

**Author's Note:**

> Next up...Couples road trip?
> 
> Comments are always appreciated!


End file.
